I Don't Know How to Ride A Bike... <BR>(and other ramblings): April 2007

I Don't Know How to Ride A Bike...
(and other ramblings)

Friday, April 13, 2007

Music Video Spotlight: Avril Lavigne, "Girlfriend"

Are you sick of her yet? To promote her new album, sk8er girl Avril Lavigne has been on a whirlwind of tours, live concerts, press promotions, and has even landed herself a gig on "Saturday Night Live" this weekend -- all in the name of reclaiming her 2002 punk princess title. She's everywhere you look, and that's not necessarily a good thing.

In an interview with Jane magazine (that's been reprinted numerous times by various news outlets), Avril speaks about married life to Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley. As she so eloquently puts it, "If some girl was going after my man, I'd punch them. I don't think stealing any girl's guy is a nice thing - it's totally mean."

Which brings us to Avril's latest single, "Girlfriend," where she sings about stealing another girl's guy. Sadly, she doesn't get punched.

In "Girlfriend," Avril totally goes back to her punk pop roots by donning a black wig and being all angry and stuff.

But wait! She's also playing the aforementioned prissy girlfriend, who, in real life, would never be dating the emo boy they cast in this video.

I haven't been this amused since Mariah Carey's 1999 music video for "Heartbreaker."

I didn't think this impudent song could get more annoying but, somehow, this video amplifies it even more. So the whole point of the song is that PunkAvril doesn't think that PrissyAvril deserves her boyfriend, and proceeds to harass the couple until the guy dumps PrissyAvril. I'm sure that a guy who scopes out other women while on a date and is easily enticed by strange women wearing bad wigs is a keeper.

I don't know which part I hate more -- the way Avril sings,"I can, I can do it bet-tah!," or the fact that the video takes an all too light-hearted approach to poaching other people's partners (and is executed very poorly in terms of direction in the video), or that PunkAvril is unnecessarily mean in all her scenes, because being a bully is fun and cool, especially if you do it to people who are different from you. Here are some of Avril's finer moments:

She tries to mow down her competition...with a go kart.

The video implies that photo booth pictures are lame (they're not!), and yet PunkAvril gets the best of her competition by physically removing her from the booth and inserting herself into the pictures. There are weird shades of Single White Female and Fatal Attraction here, but I'm sure Avril's fan base isn't too interested in these sorts of films.

As a bonus, PunkAvril has Dark and Twisty friends that pop out of nowhere to lend a hand. Incredibly, they're even more poseurish than she is, if that's possible.

After being harassed and physically assaulted, PrissyAvril gets hungry and decides to share a nice snack with her boyfriend. You know it won't last as long as PunkAvril is on the scene. She tosses away their food in an act of defiance. How subversive! How Avril didn't receive a beat-down at this point, I'll never know.

Over at the mini-golf range (how punk!), the terror continues as PunkAvril decides to lob golf balls at her nemesis' head as her friends laugh on.

But then, the best part of the video happens! Avril "dances," except she's exerting as much energy as a newborn kitten taking a nap. The dance to this song is comprised of a lot of hand-clapping, head tilting, and hip popping. The background dancer in pink looks like she's 40 and was dressed by Cindy Lauper.

Thankfully, PunkAvril's scheming and general bitchiness works, because she lands the man of her dreams (or the man of the moment -- I think for her, it's interchangeable) by the end of the video. Phew! For a moment there, I thought these two crazy kids would never get together.

So let's recap what this video has taught us: a) don't worry if a guy is on a date -- he does secretly want you, and is only playing hard to get; b) if you don't like the way someone dresses, then it's OK to physically assault them and steal their boyfriend; c) juvenile pranks will get you very far in life; d) dancing in a bathroom is very cool; and e) if you steal Avril's husband, you are a stank ho; if Avril steals your husband, then you didn't deserve him in the first place. Naturally!

Oh Avril, you're so rock'n'roll!