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HITCH IN T.O.: Or the Adventures of a Single Black Man in Search of a Date

22 Jun 2005

As many of you might already know, Nubian Connections, Toronto's premiere black speed dating company, is holding another speed dating event next Tuesday night (June 28th) at the Tides Lounge. Hummmm I thought. It's the beginning of summer, I'm single right now, and what a chance for a sociological experiment. Like most black folk, I first got my introduction to this whole speed dating craze through Will Smith's blockbuster movie "Hitch." I've since heard stories about it, mostly from sisters ironically, involving them paying in excess of $60 to end up in a mainstream speed dating event where the black man was on the speed dating extinction list. Interestingly enough, I heard that Nubian Connections is still looking to fill up some remaining spots for nubian males for the upcoming event. So I couldn't help to wonder ... what's the beef that brothers have with speed dating?

Granted, the previous Nubian Connections events have been very successful and a buzz of anticipation has gathered around their ground-breaking concept for Toronto's black community. So why are the brothers, again, last at the gate? A similar scenario seemed to have played out at the last Blingles event where women seemed to have outnumbered the men. It seems somewhat paradoxical. I've been asking around and different people have their own explanation.

According to one of my black female friends, the much heralded machismo of Caribbean men prevents them from even admitting that they need an organised dating event to "get some." Imagine, she tells me, your boy calling you up and saying: "Yo dawg, I'm really hoping to meet 'the one' tonight B!". Flashback to one of my favourite movies "Love Jones". When Darius plays that "the one" trick on his boy and starts laughing, saying: "The One??!! Please ... I'm like a thief in the night. FBI's still on my tail. But they can't catch me." But we all knew that Darius, despite showing his wallet (yeah he's a baaaad moffo alright), really had the Love Jones regardless of his macho boasts.

Speaking of my boy, I did call him up too and he had a different take. We happened to have attended together last year this forum at Harbourfront about the state of the black dating scene in Toronto. And unlike George W. Bush, I must say that the state of the union is not good. At least speaking from a black man's perspective, my boy and I were flabbergasted by some of the comments coming out of the sisters'' mouths. Statements like: "American men know how to treat a lady better than black men in Canada" or "there are no good black men out there." So "I guess we're on strike" my boy said then. "We already have enough of a hard time taking on one or two sisters in the club, so who wants to go out there and be devoured by twenty of them at once!" he added.

I guess the saying that there's always three sides to any story: "my version, your version, and the truth", can also apply to this whole black dating thing in Toronto. And in my search for the truth, I've decided to infiltrate the upcoming Nubian Connections event to find out for myself. Yeah, Undercover Brother, minus the mayonnaise, is coming out to give nubian romance a chance. So T.O. brothers out there reading this, why not join in on the experiment? No U.S. green card required.

Think about it guys, sixteen dates with sixteen single sisters. Buy your ticket now and worry about rejection later ... as in 48hrs later in an e-mail format. Yeah that's right, the way this whole speed dating thing works is you hook up with each girl for 5 to 8 minutes and then, at the signal, you rotate tables until you have dated every female in the room. After each short date, both the male and the female fill out a connection card indicating whether they want to see that person again or not. You can even specify "as a friend" or romantic interest. At the end of the event, you submit your connection card to the organisers. After 48 hours, you get an e-mail letting you know about your successful "matches". So unlike Thursday night at Fluid, the work load for establishing a connection is on both the male's and female's shoulders. Remember, you are both being scored. So bring what you got for 5-8 minutes at a time!

The Nubian Connections speed dating event will take place on Tuesday, June 28th at the Tides Lounge (Lakeshore & Parklawn area). Admission is $35 and includes a complimentary drink and appetizers all night. Sign in at 7:00pm and dating starts a 7:30 SHARP!!! To register, go to http://www.nubianconnections.ca

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