- Category: Commentaries
- Written by Jane Musoke-Nteyafas
How Ladies Can Scope Out Players
There have been a lot of women who have been burned by players, men who have no intention to settle down and commit. We live in dangerous times which celebrate playerhood and masculine virility even more than ever, and this makes it even more difficult for women to find decent men. The player mentality brags about not being married and not having responsibility, writes Touré Muhammad for the Final Call Magazine in his article Attitudes of Responsibility is Greater.
The site becomeaplayer.com teaches guys how to be a player and learn the secrets to attract women by reading their body language, seduction, dating, flirting, and more. The Players Black Book, which is advertised on that site, is controversial ambitious new book which promises reveals all the "dirty little secrets" that players have used to seduce tons of women into their beds. Basically a player is a man who dates more than one woman at the same time, keeps it under wraps and rarely look past his selfish needs for self-gratification. He is the kind of man who women looking for stability and marriage should avoid. He is the kind of guy that serious, genuine men say ruin things for them.
So How Does One Spot a Player?
Ladies, let’s admit it, many women have been played. The one night stand which we thought was the beginning of a wonderful relationship, the plans for marriage that ended up in the wind, the wonderful date who we never heard of again and the other bag of tricks that players threw our way. One thing is for sure. With a very few exceptions, nobody likes to be played. Yet players abound and are very successful in their game. There has been a lot of material for guys, teaching them how to score women. But what about material to protect women from players? Here are some signs to help us know we are dealing with a player;
1) This is pretty obvious but players date more than one woman at the same time. Why would we want to put ourselves in situations like this? The classic example is the absent baby daddy with several different baby mothers. For some reason, he seems to be a chick magnet. But for those with sense in their heads, keep away. He is only going to do the same thing to you.
2.) Players do not like responsibility. Women and children can potentially become a burdensome responsibility for a player and slow down his game, so a good indicator of a player, is a man who hedges over commitment and children.
3.) To a player, lying is second nature. They will lie about anything and everything. They will even go as far as lying that they do not have children or a woman in their lives. Most times women know that they are being lied to. They can feel the vibe but they ignore it. Do not ignore it. We are not suggesting that you should be suspicious of your men, but just be careful. Quite frankly a man who lies that he does not have children is dangerous. If he is denying his own flesh and blood, then how much better will he treat a stranger?
4.) Players under no circumstances give out home or work phone numbers. They do not want to be tracked down and easily available. If a man is giving you a pager number, is not readily available or insisting that you give him YOUR number, take a lesson from Florence Griffith Joyner and run for your life! A genuine brother will give you his number if he is really interested. Players do not want to be easily available. There is no spontaneity with them. Everything is planned, so you cannot call them or see them when you feel like. Chances are you will not even know where he lives because he lives with another women or he just does not want you to kill their game. Players call all the shots. You are at their beck and call and never vice versa.
5.) Players are very insecure and insensitive. Although they hurt a lot of women in the process, they think that having many women makes them a ‘man’. But they have trouble handling even one woman. They have issues truly opening up to one woman and therefore remain distant with all of them.
6.) Players like to score and run – It is far easier for them to do this is if they end up at the woman’s place. A player knows it’s easier to leave than to get someone out of their house, so if he is rushing you to go to your place, watch out!
7.) Players only want to spend money on themselves. Many tend to be cheap dates. Is it a wonder considering that they have many women to cater too? Being a player can be expensive, so they tend to cut on costs by spending it on themselves and holding back when they are with women.
8.) Players believe that men weren’t born to be monogamous and that they should always keep their options opened. The ‘everyone has a soul mate’ theory is lost on players.
9.) Players believe that marriage is for fools. They hate the word commitment with a passion and run away from any woman who hints that she would like a ring on their finger. Ladies, you cannot tie a player down. Don’t waste your breath! For those hard-core players who end up getting married, it’s a hard habit to kick. Prepare yourself ladies for heartbreak and pain if you force a player-for-life into marriage.
10.) Women are low priority to the player. His home and car are more important to him, with women being low on the list, as far as value. Usually his main squeeze, if he has one, is at the bottom rung after all the belongings and other women.
11.) Players have problems keeping promises but do not like losing. If they are caught, they will give any lie to extricate themselves from trouble. They will even lie that you did not see them in bed with the other woman very convincingly.
12.) Players are not only masculine. There are many feminine players as well.
Players you are busted! For all the serious brothers out there, you are noticed and appreciated. This article was written in jest, but HIV/AIDS is not a joke. It is still killing millions of people in the world. Last week, the Metronews reported that over 15,000 people in Toronto alone, do not know that they have HIV/AIDS. Please remember to always take the necessary precautions and protect yourself. The XIV AIDS Conference will be held in Toronto from August 13 th -18 th 2006. For more info on the conference please go to http://www.aids2006.org/
How to Pick Up Girls by DatingMetrics.com
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