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Is Love Overrated?

08 Dec 2005

When in love are we not distracted human beings preoccupied in our thoughts of the other person? What they’re doing, what they’re thinking right now, how much we miss them, how great it is to spend time with them. We become almost childlike in the initial infatuation stages and almost immerse ourselves into one another’s lives. Sometimes it can progress into self-destructive stages where we neglect family and friends. Maybe all love isn’t this severely destructive.

However, haven’t you ever wondered if our desire for companionship fueled by love, which drives us to broken hearts, experiences of joy and pain all for that one soul mate, is any good for our sanity? This emotion we call love, the irresistible and at times unavoidable and infectious emotion, which we at some point in our lives may experience, is it simply an emotion meant to distract us from being constructive, productive human beings?

When we do find love, our mind’s preoccupation with it, can unexpectedly consume much time. If you’ve ever been in love or have found that special someone I am sure you would admit that it feels great. But why does that truly great feeling end up being reduced to a mere temporary moment of delight? Is it because our subconscious instinctively detects love’s incompatibility with us? Whether it is for weeks, months or a few years, once we find that great love, some of us seem less willing to work at it, make it stay or even try to maintain those great fuzzy feelings. Is it because people change, or is it more a case of our emotions towards people changing?

These days it seems that our careers, social life and all other happenings have us trapped in a ritualistic agenda, leaving no time for ourselves, family, spirituality or love. But when we do find time, we intend to equally distribute it. When considering that distribution of our time, should we, (for our own sake), leave love on the “backburner” so we can remain sane, productive beings? Is love’s presence or purpose in our society as strong as it used to be? Is it that our society has evolved entirely to an age of convenience where technology’s sole purpose is to make our lives “easy”? If love is meant to fit into our schedules do we, can we expect it to be “easy” and convenient as well, otherwise will we truly lose our sanity devoting too much time dwelling on the butterfly feelings we get from it?

Some people say we can never define love because of its complexities and its strong association with lust. But is it really that simple? Has lust just become the arch-enemy of love and have we replaced love with lust? In this “age of convenience” lust does seem easier. So, again I must ask; is there a role for love in our society today? Have people given up on it by keeping themselves occupied? Are the mushy, sentimental, smitten feelings of being in love too time consuming? Have we really settled for lust and said goodbye to love?

It would seem so given the latest trends. An increasingly large number of women are pushing the independent professional woman movement and according to many statistics, divorce rates are on the rise. I can’t help but notice the latest distribution of advertisements for quick and cheap divorces plastered almost everywhere around the city. Are we too busy? Is love seriously just a distraction? Are we really becoming more productive human beings by becoming busier and preoccupied with other emotions? Does it boil down to the fact that the way we define love in our age “the age of convenience” must also evolve?

Maybe the real question to pose is not whether love makes us insane, unproductive beings, but whether as we strive to be productive human beings, we are paying enough attention to this undervalued emotion.

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