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Excuse me, can you help me with your baggage?

24 Feb 2006

Shoot, all I can say, is he’s kind, he’s got a great sense of humour and the looks to match.

He’s the perfect height and he looks good in everything he wears.  The man has a stable job, lives alone, has 4 kids …. wait a minute, did you say 4 children?  And how many mothers? Three!!!??  Do you have the urge to run like the wind, or do you immediately accept your fate as a stepmommy, times three, four or even five?

Are you strolling into ready-made dysfunction, or a ready-made family? Some may say having numerous children with different women out of wedlock could be indicative of a man’s family values. Others might say that a man who takes care of all of his children is a sign of a ‘responsible’ man.  But is it responsible to repeatedly produce children living in different homes, without the presence of their natural father?

We could look at the fact that various cultures see numerous children as a sign of virility.

Then there is the possibility that multiple children can be a product of several failed relationships.  So what does this mean?  Should you shun your knight in shining armor because he’s got a few bags tied onto the back of his donkey?

All social and economical ramifications aside…  does he make you feel loved and respected, and cherished?  Does he provide what you need.  Then does anything else really matter?  If I were your sister what would you tell me to do?


Ladies, whatever you decide, the fact is you are not just dealing with the relationship with his multiple children, but also with each of their mothers.  There will always be a connection between your boo and these women.  The real deal?  You are not only working to make a relationship work with your spouse/partner, but you also will have to handle relationships with 6, 7 or 8 other individuals.

Sisters, if the man you are smitten with has multiple moms and tots, it takes a special type of woman to make it work. Brothers, please, don’t fib about how many kids you have.  Be proud of your tots/teens/and 20somethings.  Be mindful that all relationships are sensitive so set boundaries.  Be the best partner/daddy that you can be.

So the question remains, does it really matter how many children/mothers a man has?

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