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From the Blog: How soon is too soon to have "The Talk"?

03 Apr 2006

Alright, before you chastise me ... I know it''s been "nearly" a month, but not quite yet :-) Anyhow, it''s been such a hectic dating scene for me this past month that I wouldn''t know where to start.

But first things first: my date with the girl from the jazz lounge.

We had dinner at one of my favourite Caribbean spots in town. She was dressed very nice and had that quality that all men look for of attracting admiring stares in a public space. The dinner conversation was nice. Nothing really out of the ordinary, as we exchanged some of the basic "about me” random facts. Of course, the topic of the "are you seeing anyone in particular" came about. But we initially just brushed upon it. Basically, we were both unattached but I sensed already that she was going, sooner or later, to dig deeper into my "bachelor status" as she called it.

As we leave the restaurant, I am again happily surprised by her confidence and forwardness as she circles my arm with her right hand. We basically walked arm-in-arm all the way to the post-dinner event we had planned on going to. I stopped to think then on how it literally took my ex-girlfriend months before she felt trusting and comfortable enough to engage in such public displays of affection.

I thought to myself: "Is it possible?" "Have I found a baggage-free sistah?" That's the Holy Grail of all single men.

After we leave the event for the night, we head back to my place for some wine. She visits my apartment and notices the pictures on the wall. Yeah, for those of you who are familiar with this blog ... the picture on the wall was still there. But I still stick to my story that it’s just a picture. LOL Actually, it''s more like three of four pictures of previous girlfriends and current great friends.

One thing leads to another and, as we start letting our mutual attraction take its course, she stops and tells me point blank that if we are to keep seeing each other, I have to promise her that I would stop casually dating anyone else.

Now mind you, I'm not saying that I'm not a one-woman-man once I''m in a relationship (because I am), but I was kind of taken aback by getting such an ultimatum on a first date.

But days later, I kept on asking myself if I just couldn’t deal with anything other than pointless drama. She was a beautiful girl with a great personality and to top it all off, with a killer body and great physical and mental chemistry between us. But, somehow, being put under the gun right there and then seems to always choke any man.

She says that’s the story of her life … but they always come back when it’s too late.

Still pondering on that one …

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