FILM REVIEWS:
THE DEAD THING (USA 2024) **
Directed by Elric Kane
THE DEAD THING is an ambitious new horror film directed by Elric Kane and co-written by Kane and Webb Wilcoxen.
What is THE DEAD THING that is referred to by the film’s title? The answer is clear only in the last 15 minutes of the film’s 90-minute running time.
The film is described as an erotic horror thriller. That it is, but the film takes its time to establish its footing. It begins by focusing on its protagonist, a young pretty girl, Alex (Blu Hunt) stuck in a computer client-based job who finds sexual distraction by going on dating apps and meeting up with random strangers thus having sex with them. All her hook-ups are quite good-looking, also of which forms the erotic element of the film, though with little nudity. (Who says there must be nudity for a film to be erotic?) But the encounters are meaningless until she finds Kyle, a mysterious crew-cut hunk named Kyle (Ben Smith Petersen) who seems different from the rest of her meet-ups.
But he is as strange as can be. He disappears for no apparent reason and she catches him dating another girl. He becomes an obsession for her. She discovers that he is actually dead, but then sees him and meets again with him. The relationship turns really weird.
The film is ok to this point, though the slow burn might frustrate horror fans expecting more. It does not help that the film contains a totally muddled ending. The extremely slow build-up, lack of scares, and muddled ending make the film more frustrating.
THE DEAD THING premiered at the Fantasia Film Festival. It opens on the Shudder streaming service on February 14th.
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DEATH BEFORE THE WEDDING (Poland 2025) **
Directed by Tomasz KoneckiIwona and Ogonowska-Konecka
When Maja brings her fiancé home, her traditional parents must overcome their cultural biases amidst a crisis at their dairy farm. Can love find a way? GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER Polish style. But the drama is replaced by aught comedy in this Polish entry
The death referred to in the title refers to the sudden death of the manager of a dairy plant called Little Dairy. The CEO of the chain wants to shut this plant down, it being the smallest and most insignificant. But Miren who runs the company tries to keep the plant going, But that is not the only problem. he has forgotten his pearl wedding anniversary and his wife, Regina is more distraught than angry. His daughter is engaged to be married but to a coloured man. The condition the CEO gives Mirek for not shutting down the plant is to allow his wife to paint the daughter’s wedding. In the meantime, Mirek has to find a new manager and come up with a viable plan for the plant.
That is a lot going for Mirek and the film in particular. It is amusing to watch the racist and male chauvinist Mirek bumbling his way around trying to balance all his tasks while keeping a sound mind. But hilarious it is not with the film being mildly entertaining at best.
DEATH BEFORE THE WEDDING opens for streaming on Netflix this week.
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LA DOLCE VILLA (USA 2025) **
Directed by Mark Waters
Written by Elizabeth Hackett and Hilary Galanoy and directed by MEAN GIRLS director Mark Waters, LA DOLCE VILLA (the name derived from Federico Fellini’s classic LA DOCLE VITA is one of the too many romantic comedies opening this Valentine's Day week. It stars Scott Foley who learned Italian for his role, a more senior adult romcom playing the father, Eric Field of a daughter in Italy finding romance when he starves in a small Italian village.
The reason for his visit to Italy is to prevent his daughter from buying a one-euro house. Apparently, the Italians do this to entice investment. So like Liam Neeson in TAKEN, the father travels to Italy to bring his daughter home while convincing her not to purchase the one euro vill.
Romcoms are my least favourite film genre, but this one caught my attention for a while. There are several reasons that make LA DOLCE VILLA watchable. One is the gorgeous Italian countryside and quaint village. Filming took place in Rome, eastern Lazio, and Tuscany. The villa's interiors were constructed at Cinecittà Studios in Rome. The second is the initial fast moving and quite witty dialogue in the script and thirdly, the subject of an older person falling in love is a welcome change. But the attention lasted only 15 minutes before it fell into cliched territory. It does not take a genius to guess that Eric Field falls in love with the pretty town mayor.
Apart from the above reasons. LA DOCLE VILLA is an entertaining enough warthog. It opens for streaming on Netflix the Valentine’s Day weekend.
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LUNE DE MIEL AVEC MA MERE (Honeymoon Crasher) (France 2025) ***½
Directed by Nicolas Cuche
Bridegroom Lucas (Julien Frison) is abandoned at the wedding altar while his parents Lily (Michele Laroque) and Michel (Dad Merad) look on. This opening comedic scene could have been funnier. But the film does get better. The premise of the film based on the Spanish film (AMOR DE MADRE - Mother’s Love) is actually fresh since it has not been known in English-speaking North America. Lucas has spent his hard-earned teaching job on a Mauritius honeymoon and there is no refund. When this ex-bride calls him to ask to pick up her keys, he tells her that he is going on the honeymoon anyway, with someone else. That someone else happens not to be his new girlfriend but his mother, who had not gone on her honeymoon because she was too busy having him.
The film is set up for full-potential comedy and hits the right spots every so often with a greater-than-average hit-and-miss ratio. The mother and son duo is totally watchable as the mother looks young enough to pass as his bride through an older one. Everyone in the honeymoon resort is impressed with Lily as it is seldom one sees an older woman with a young man. The mother and son pretend to be newlyweds in order to get the super upgrades given by Gloria the hostess, wonderfully played by Rossy de Palma.
The contrast of personalities - Lucas is introverted while Lily is the opposite. She is hung ho for everything exciting. The one exception is when Lucas insists on telling the couple seated with them how they had met - in the maternity room, which makes up the film’s funniest segment.
The film also contains some serious drama, which works, that involves the mother-and-son relationship. The dramatic parts work wonderfully. They also display the talent of the two actors - Frison and Laroque. The mother wants the best for her son -the son thinks she is suffocating him. Both are right.
The film’s main setting is the honeymoon resort in Mauritius. Mauritius, officially the Republic of Mauritius, is an island country in the Indian Ocean, about 2,000 kilometres off the southeastern coast of East Africa, east of Madagascar. The country is African. The shots of Mauritius are nothing less than stunning,
HONEYMOON CRASHERS got a likely higher rating than most other critics or viewers would give it for the reason that I love French comedies. This one is no exception to the rule - with a fresh premise and good clean fun with some dramatic moments put in that actually work, the film just begging for a Hollywood remake, But there are some things one cannot remake, like the performance of Roissy de Palma as Gloria The Spanish actress who has been seen many times in Pedro Almodovar’s films - performing to the point of pure hilarity.
LUNE DE MIEL AVEC MA MERE (Honeymoon Crasher) (The English translation to the French title is Honeymoon with My Mother(opens for streaming on Netflix on Valentine’s Day - a different kind of love story.
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KNOW MERCY (USA 2024) **
Directed by Pernell Richardson
Stranded on Earth for centuries, Hanokh (Xavier Avila) is an immortal man conflicted by the ever-present question of his purpose. Truth be told, every human being should be wondering for his or her won purpose on the planet. As he navigates through time and the modern world, he yearns to uncover the secret of his existence. A brilliant but terminally ill scientist (the villain of the piece) becomes obsessed with capturing Hanokh and believes that his immortality holds the key to his own salvation. His relentless pursuit jeopardizes Hanokh and the safety of the woman (Elia Williams who also co-wrote the script) he has grown to love after a life of solitude. As he closes in, Hanokh must confront the powerful force that wants to exploit him and navigate the betrayal of those closest to him. In a desperate race against time, he grapples with the moral implications of his immortality while simultaneously striving to protect the woman he cherishes. All the while, he also sought answers that could either liberate him or trap him in the eternal quest for meaning in a world where life and death are intricately connected.
The only actor who gets it right is Juhahn Jones in the supporting role of Father Thomas who houses and mentors Hanukah. He plays the role of Father Thomas for laughs and this is how the film should be. With such an outrageous plot like time travel and events that occur without any rhyme or reason, it is all tongue-in-cheek material and yes, it has been said - Jones does it right.
Director Richardson’s film is all over the place, finally settling with a serious faith-type message similar to that of Christianity and John 3:13. The film also gets too serious for its own good with director Richardson taking his project too seriously. The quotation: For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. God comes into the story ninth last part of the film with Hanukah placed on earth supposedly to fulfill one of God’s missions. Is KNOW MERCY supposed to be a faith Christianity movie? No one can be really sure.
Though KNOW MERCY is watchable and entertaining to a point, it ends up a puzzling and mostly frustrating enterprise in which nobody cares for the message (if it can be deciphered) or for the story’s characters.
The film has won the Grand Prize for Best Picture at the Culver City Film Festival and was nominated for the Audience Award at the Cleveland Urban Film Festival. It was also screened at the San Diego Black Film Festival in late January. KNOW MERCY also received a ReFrame Stamp for gender-balanced hiring.
Gravitas Ventures will release KNOW MERCY on digital platforms on February 18, 2025. The film has a running time of 1 hour and 23 minutes and will not be rated by the MPAA.
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THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD (Indonesia 2025) **½
Directed by Robert Ronny
A playboy stages a dating show to earn his inheritance by granting his father's last wish, for his son to marry the most beautiful girl in the world.
Reuben and Kiara are not Romeo and Juliet. They fall into the typical Harlequin couple mold. They have disdain for each other h other but slowly all will dissolve into the mixture of love. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD is yet another one of too many romantic comedies driving during the Valentine’s Day season, this one running over 2 hours.
Despite the Chemistry of the two leads and the fresh setting of modern Indonesia (most of the films arriving here are Indonesian horror flicks set in rural Indonesia) and the parody of reality television THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD almost succeeds.
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD opens for streaming on Netflix on Valentine’s Day.
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ONE NIGHT IN TOKYO (Japan 2024) ***
Directed by Joshua Woodcock
The film opens with the protagonist, Sam (Reza Emamiyeh) arriving at Tokyo airport. It is 130 pm in the afternoon. So, the night of the film’s title has not begun yet. Sam also stays in Tokyo for more than a night, so the title is misleading. The ONE NIGHT IN TOKYO refers to the essential time in Toyo that changes Sam’s life.
One of the best things about ONE NIGHT IN TOKYO occurs at the film’s start where the audience sees a foreigner, Sam navigating Tokyo to find his girlfriend Becca (Cailee Oliver). He arrives in Tokyo, at the airport and Becca is not answering her phone nor is she showing up as agreed before to meet him. He takes the subway, with all the machines with instructions in Japanese characters. Japan is a beautiful place, but the culture shock is often never mentioned in any film that features Japan as a setting. There is no English, no letters of the alphabet and Japanese characters are totally impossible to read. Even when meeting, for example, someone at a subway station is difficult. Many stations are huge with as many as half a dozen exits. Sam resorts to asking other caucasian directions, eventually finding Becca’s home.
Sam arrives in Tokyo to visit his expat girlfriend Becca -- only to be broken up with as soon as he arrives at her apartment. Left wandering around Tokyo alone, he decides to return to the U.S. the next day. Stuck for the night awaiting his new flight, he makes an unlikely friend in Ayaka (Tokiko Kitagawa), who reluctantly takes him out with her friends.
As Sam and Ayaka both struggle to communicate due to their language barrier, trust and reliance on each other become imminent when betrayal sends their worlds crashing down. As the pair venture through the mesmerizing streets of Tokyo together, they must not only overcome obstacles to understand each other but also break down their own walls to understand themselves.
The film succeeds more as an observational piece. There is much to observe about the cultural differences between Japan and the West, about human personalities and character as well as human relationships. The film does not strive to work as a drama, romance or moral tale.
Other keen observational points:
- one can observe how Japanese cliques behave (not much different from American ones)
- how breakups occur
- the actor as well as the character is Iran by decent, if one is wondering. The actor’s first name, Reza is a common Iranian one though non-Iranians might not be aware of the fact
- how work always clouds up one's holidays
- how a newcomer behaves in a new group
It should be noted that ONE NIGHT IN TOKYO is not much else. There is no super romance or drama being told, no great performances (though the two actors are not bad), or super writing. If one does not get a kick out of observing other human beings or situations, the film will seem boring and meaningless.
ONE NIGHT IN TOKYO is available on Digital/VOD on February 14th.
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PADDINGTON IN PERU (UK 2024) ****
Directed by Dougal Wilson
PADDINGTON IN PERU is the third Paddington film based on the lovable Paddington Bear created by Michael Bond.
The adventure begins with Paddington reaching for an orange on a branch that breaks. Paddington falls into a gushing river and goes over the falls, only to be rescued by his Aunt Lucy. When Aunt Lucy from the Home of Retired Bears run by a singing nun (Olivia Colman) goes missing in Peru, Paddington, now living with the Browns in London leaves with the entire Brown family to search for the lost Aunt Lucy. Determined to solve the mystery, they soon stumble across a legendary treasure as they make their way through the rainforests of the Amazon.
The story by Paul King, Simon Farnaby and Mark Burton is inventive enough with lots of opportunities for adventure, humour, moral and family values and even some magic, as well as the best famous old movies especially THE SOUND OF MUSIC since Olivia Colma’s singing nun is a major character in the story. There is one song and dance number similar to the singing nun number “Maria” in THE SOUND OF MUSIC with Colman banishing a guitar similar to the Singing Nun Julie Andrews carried when she sang “I Have Confidence In Me” a number that ends with the background of hills similar to the start of THE SOUND OF MUSIC where Andrews sang “The Hills Are Alive”,
The British sense of humour is evident throughout the movie, which is hilarious enough to entertain any adult who has brought his children to see the lovable bear. The values (very clever indeed) include the importance and difference between family and clan, as well as where one belongs and where one comes from.
Voice characterizations are provided by a cast of classic British stars like Golden Globe Winner Julia Walters and Oscar nominee Imelda Staunton (as Aunt Lucy). Paddington is voiced by Ben Whishaw (THE LOBSTER). The real actors also ham it up very well from Colman who seems to have a chant for such things to Antonio Banderas as the handsome Captain crazy about finding gold. Sally Hawkins who voiced Mrs. Brown in the first two Paddington films is replaced by Emily Mortimer.
Queen Elizabeth II briefly appears in the film in a framed photograph with Paddington, taken from the short film featuring the two produced for the Platinum Jubilee of Elizabeth II. Michael Bond also appears briefly on a stamp in a letter Paddington receives at the start of the film.
Stay for the end credits. There is a surprise cameo- A British actor (the identity of whom will not be disclosed here) but he appears twice once at the start of the closing credits and once again right at the end of the closing credits. The closing credits run close to 10 minutes, so one has to be patient and stay right to the very end
The PADDINGTON franchise has been a solid film franchise with the latest PADDINGTON IN PERU being no exception. PADDINGTON IN PERU opens in North America on February 14th and has already grossed around $100 million at the box office. The film also marks the best film to open in 2025 so far.
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SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN (Que nadie duerma) Spain/Romania 2023) ***½
Dirigida por Antonio Méndez Esparza
A steamy encounter with a new neighbour who has gone missing leads the recently unemployed Lucia (Malena Alterio) to take on work as a cab driver in hopes of finding the man that reawakened her latent sexuality. Using her new vocation as a means of radical connection and self-reinvention, she finds both erotic and intellectual stimulation from her clientele. However, the more Lucia freely gives of herself to strangers, the more it becomes clear that she might be the target of a nefarious plot with violent consequences.
Based on Juan José Millás' novel Que nadie duerma, the screenplay was penned by Antonio Méndez Esparza alongside Clara Roquet. It was Méndez Esparza's first time working with a professional cast. Roquet described the lead character as a female version of the protagonists of JOKER and TAXI DRIVER though this film has a lighter touch, until the very end at least, which is a shocker. while still maintaining the story’s urgency.
Lucia is terribly optimistic. Lucia loves listening to opera though she does not understand it. She loves listening in, particularly to Puccini’s Turandot, the famous song, Dessun Dorma from it heard many times in the soundtrack. She also takes opera singing lessons. She believes something is about to happen - and it is good, despite her current circumstances. Lucia has just lost her IT job and decided to become a taxi driver. She has a short fling with a neighbour one evening and believes she has fallen in love. While she dresses up in a Chinese Cheong sum resembling a Chinese princess as in the opera Puccini’s Turandot, she finds that her neighbour has moved out without any prior notice. Still, she is in high spirits. There is clear audience anticipation at this point in the movie and the 45-minute mark, that indeed SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN, and likely it will not be good.
The film/story sidetracks with a few side paths. Lucia has to care for her ailing father. She pines over her mother who had committed suicide by jumping out a window, Her various sexual escapades while driving her cab serve some erotic fodder.
Actress Malena Alterio (looking a bit like Carmen Maura in the early Pedro Almodovar films) excels in Lucia's lead role. No raging beauty, but still an attractive woman by ordinary standards, she brings emotion and humanity to her role. The audience feels for her demise and hopes that something good will happen to her. The film captured a Goya Award for Best Lead Actress for Malena Alerio.
The film covers many genres, making it more interesting a film. It is a part romantic drama, surreal suspense, character story and sexual thriller.
SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN has its world premiere at the 68th Valladolid International Film Festival (Seminci) on 22 October 2023. It opens on VOD, Digital, and on Film Movement on February 14th - a different type of romantic thriller.
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TIMESTALKER (UK 2024) ***
Directed by Alice Rowe
Agnes (Alice Rowe), a hapless heroine, falls for a mysterious man, known throughout the ages as Alex (Aneurin Barnard) and promptly meets her bloody demise, and then is reincarnated a century later. When she meets her love again, the cycle begins anew. As Agnes traverses through time, she repeats all the messy thrills and spills that come with daring to follow one’s heart. How can she ever hope to break the cycle when she’s destined to be a fool for love? The film’s caption: Romance is Dead!
(Review to be posted on week of film's opening)
TIMESTALKER opens exclusively in theatres and ON DEMAND starting February 14th (Valentine’s Day) making it a worthwhile romance alternative.
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THE WITCHER: SIRENS OF THE DEEP (South Korea/|USA/Poland 2025) ***
Directed by Kang Hei Chul
THE WITCHER: SIRENS OF THE DEEP is the second anime feature film following The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf. It is a 2025 adult animated fantasy drama film set in The Witcher universe. It was directed by Kang Hei Chul and written by Mike Ostrowski and Rae Benjamin.
The film opens with a fight scene with a monster called the Allamorax and a hunter named Geralt The Witcher. The Witcher has been hired to kill the monster, his quest accompanied by a young man, Jaskier following closely hoping to create a ballad out of all this. The Witcher meets the monster and in a 10-minute fight scene is unable to destroy it when he discovers it is a harmless creature that only eats oysters.
The Witcher is a series of 8 fantasy novels and 15 short stories by Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski. The series revolves around the eponymous witcher, Geralt of Rivia. Witchers are monster hunters given superhuman abilities for the purpose of killing dangerous creatures. The Witcher began with a titular 1986 short story that Sapkowski entered into a competition held by Fantastyka magazine, marking his debut as an author. Due to reader demand, Sapkowski wrote 14 more stories before starting a series of novels in 1994. Known as The Witcher Saga, he wrote one book a year until the fifth and final installment in 1999. The books have been described as having a cult following in Poland and throughout Central and Eastern Europe.
The animation, though not bad (always check out the animation of water in any animated feature) is nothing really out of the ordinary. The main fascination with the film is the animated story that comes from the Polish Witcher universe, which at present has quite a cult following, Though not as famous as Tolkien’s Fellowship of the Rings Universe, The Witcher series has its devout followers.
THE WITCHER: SIRENS OF THE DEEP is based on Andrzej Sapkowski's short story 'A Little Sacrifice', the animated adventure film picks up with Geralt and his trusty companion Jaskier (voiced once again by Joey Batey) on a new mission. This time, they're hired to investigate a series of mysterious attacks in a seaside village. Naturally, it proves to be more than what the monster hunter bargained for as he's drawn into a centuries-old conflict between humans and merpeople that shows no sign of abating.
The precious commodity in question in this story is oysters. Humans have pillaged oysters and the pearls beyond acceptance and even hired a witcher to destroy the Allamorax, a harmless monster that only consumes oysters not hurting anyone
One of the film’s dialogues: “If a human opens his mouth, only a lie comes forth.” The scriptwriters must have President Donald Trump in mind when they wrote that line of dialogue.
There is the impending war between the humans and the sea creatures. The war has to be prevented at all costs.
THE WITCHER: SIRENS OF THE DEEP is now one for streaming on Netflix this week, a welcome break from all the romantic comedies and dramas that are filling the theatre and streaming screens during Valentine’s Day week.
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