Hello there, fellas; we want to get deep today. We want to go deep into the cabinet on the second shelf behind the old kung-fu videos. Let's look inside the unused picnic basket at the top of the closet. Why? To uncover the controversy that sometimes lies between a woman and her man’s pornography collection. There are men who are proud as peacocks to expose their skin flicks and others who lock their dirty movies up tighter than Fort Knox. The question is, why should men go out of their way to hide their blue movies?
I guess what we need to uncover is the ‘reason’ that men actually watch porn. What motivates men to watch it? Well, in questioning various men about this topic, a variety of reasons were exposed. There are men that use porn to release pent-up energy. Others are curious to find out what’s new and don’t mind picking up a few pointers. A few admit it can sometimes help to set the mood. Then there are those that call upon porn to satiate their cravings when they are getting very little to no nookie at all.
Here’s the scenario. Fellas, it’s a weeknight, and she’s had a long day at work, a hard night with the kids and an early morning to look forward to. Her body is shutdown, and the only rendezvous she’s about to have are with the sandman. You crave her warmth, but you know it will be Kill Bill vol3 if you wake her from her slumber to fulfill your carnal cravings. So, could a man’s pornography actually be seen as a woman’s friend, her stand-in? His flicks could actually be doing wifey a favour. She got her zzz’s, his yearnings were satisfied, and everyone woke up happy. Right?
Well, maybe not. The women that I interviewed mentioned some variables that may put a pause in the picture. How often is her man watching porn? If he starts to grab for his movie ‘quick fix’ on the regular, then it can become a problem. [It is estimated that 10% of all people involved in pornography become addicted.] What types of movies is he watching? The sexual acts in the movie may be satiating a fetish that some women are uncomfortable with. The other variable was whether the man is hiding the fact that he watches porn. This touches on other issues of trust and communication that may need to be addressed.
So is it disrespectful if your lovely wife wakes up at 2 am in the morning to witness her husband pleasuring himself to Lacey Duvalle or Dominique Simone? Is it uncouth that a source of your man’s pleasure comes from watching porn? Should it bother your lady that you find pleasure in watching overly willing women/girls performing unimaginable sexual acrobatics? Unimaginable? Wait a minute! I mean, how can a freaky-deeky movie turn a man on if it doesn’t resemble the sex that he has with his spouse?
You say something different could spice up your sex life? If the sex industry and pornography made us sexually healthy and improved marriages, one would expect that those involved in making movies would have the healthiest relationships. The case is that many women involved in the making of these movies are adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Fellas, what about the effect on your partner? She consciously or unconsciously could feel degraded or experience low self-esteem brought on by body self-consciousness.
Hey, no one’s coaxing you to dash the pornography into the fireplace? I mean, how can a couple of harmless dusty movies bring turmoil into your relationship? If visual stimulation must be a part of your relationship, find out how it can be considerate and pleasing to both parties. Be open with each other. Find out what turns you on and when you like your buttons pushed.
Ladies, I understand those playful pokes in the back from your man at midnight may not always be a welcome friend, but please do remember that you are his satisfier. Fellas, can I get an Amen? Men, always respect your ladies, remind her of her sex appeal and respect her individual beauty. At the same time, respect your daughters, your sisters and your mothers. Hold a scrutinizing eye and be aware of how easily one man's pleasure can lead to another’s pain.
